Thursday, July 15, 2010

I Am Weak and He Is Strong

Recently I have noticed that I am on an extremely slippery slope to complete and utter weakness. I know that I am a girl and I am only 5’3” tall (and I get this intense loathing feeling every time I even think about milk because we just don’t get along unless it is in very small portions and complimenting my cereal or cake), so I can only be so strong, but come on, man! I used to lift people! I used to lift weights! I used to be able to do at least two pushups!

But now it seems as if all of that strength is just withering away and I am on my way to hiring a big, strong, personal assistant to follow me around and do all my heavy lifting and difficult opening. Hey now, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea! I will have to see if my student loans will cover this…

Back on track: I am weak (and not like my shit’s weak or anything, because it’s totally not), and I don’t know how it happened. I have succumbed to begging Breezy to do things for me because my feeble hands just won’t manage and it only takes him two seconds and he shows no sign of struggle. Quite frankly, it’s embarrassing. I don’t want my husband thinking I’m some weak and defenseless cunt who can’t even complete simple daily tasks.

I have decided to illustrate the crumbling of my strength with a doodle.

Enjoy, while I go find some dumbbells. Or maybe I’ll waste my money on a pair of those fancy shake weights…


  1. So I literally snorted with laughter at the book panel lol I love you Lace face hahaa

  2. LOL "a weak and defenseless cunt." Don't worry Lace I make Dean open everything for me too...I think that they are just making everything harder to get into. Yeah...that's it.

  3. But this is how men are made to feel important in our lives. If you're not naturally weak you have fake it or they start feeling all unneeded and unloved. Something like that happened to me at the vet's office today.

  4. I like the book. If you can't open your book, you may have some computer issues... :)

  5. thanks for being so supportive, you guys!

    Brittany: thanks! That was all Breezy. He saw me struggling with the banana the other day he said a book would probably be the next step.

    Shannon: I totally agree. They make water bottles with small caps now to "save the planet" or whatever, but they are a bitch and a half to open.

    I think Ink Spiller is onto something here, because Amogh seems happy after reading this and probably feels really strong right about now.

    Mei, this is a serious point! What if I am unable to open my laptop? I couldn't doodle! or do homework, but that might not be so bad.

  6. Hahaha! This is so true!!! I love the puppy dog face!!! It works every time.

  7. My husband just rips things out of my hand before I even get to at least try to open it! No puppy dog face required. I think it makes him feel manly to open a jar for me

  8. omg- lace, i'm totally with you. it's like my muscles have gone into a deep state of atrophy. i've also had to cut a banana open bc the peel was SO fucking hard to pull that i was nearly pulvarizing the fruit in my bare hands like the incredible hulk.

    are your hands every suuuuuper weak right after you wake up??? mine are. it's become a thing now that a group of my friends know me as, "TILTE? yeah, she has weak hands in the morning."

    ps: i lolled at "I don’t want my husband thinking I’m some weak and defenseless cunt"

  9. im a guy and i stumbled across your blog. Its quite funny. Keep it up :)

  10. Ha! The book panel? Classic...

    When my boy and I go anywhere I always give the puppy dog pout when there are bags to carry. I say, "Honey, these hurt my hand. Can you help with one or two?" which then turns into me not carrying a damn suck so wonderfully, lol

  11. Hi, I'm here from Mingle Monday on [Life of Meg]. I absolutely adore the name of your blog and your cute cartoons! They definitely add something unique to your posts. I'll be sure to come back to read more.

  12. Have you ever tried opening a banana from the bottom? That's the way I do it, and it's so much easier and doesn't squish. Plus you can hold onto the handle thing while you eat it.


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