Monday, November 15, 2010

The Drive - Thru

I apologize for being so busy lately that my poor, poor, blog has been put on the back burner. It kills me more than it kills you, though I am sure you have all been distraught and waiting impatiently for a new post. It kills me more, though, because I haven’t had any time to doodle lately – even the margins of my notebooks are nearly bare – and life without doodling is a sad life, indeed.

What have I been doing instead? I’m glad you asked. I have had my head in such cripplingly interesting books as “School Law for Teachers” and “Pronunciation Contrasts in English”, among other things that are necessary steps in this whole degree process. Now, I can see in your eyes that you are all severely jealous right now, but let me tell you something: you shouldn’t be. 

All of this concentration and thinking requires fuel, amiright? So I have spent a good amount of time in drive-thru lines (mostly ordering coffee to keep my exhausted eyes open), and I have realized something: I hate the drive-thru! And, of course, I am going to tell you why.

Before I get into my formal complaint, let me first inform you that I am a very credible source on this specific topic, because I used to work in a drive-thru! I worked at the McDonald’s in my hometown from my freshman to my senior year of high school, so you could think of me as an insider. Now I know you're jealous.

First of all, this job is NOT that hard. It’s simple. Take the customer’s order quickly and accurately, take the customer’s form of payment and give change (if needed), and then give the customer the food. Simple. There are other people who are designated to actually make and package the food, so you do not have to worry about that.

Now, I guess I should mention that I am AWESOME, if you haven’t noticed this already, so what seems simple to my advanced brain might not be that easy for some. However, I used to get compliments all the time while working in the drive-thru. Some would tell me that my voice was like angels singing from the balcony of Heaven – well, at least that I had a “good and clear voice” while taking their orders. I never understood why this small detail (that took no effort on my part) was such a big deal to them… until recently when I have had the displeasure of dealing with drive-thru attendants who lack this quality.

Side Note: there are NEVER any healthy options! I am sometimes even tricked into thinking something is healthy, but then it turns out to be basically a lardburger disguised by a measly piece of lettuce.

Other compliments that I would receive were about my toothpaste-commercial-worthy smile and my kick-ass personality. I always thought it was weird (again, because this job is seriously not that difficult), but I would always say thank you anyway… unless they were really creepy about it – like College Bro creepy, or even Dirty Old Man creepy.

But, now that I am on the other side of the situation, I have realized that a shining personality in the drive-thru is like the Holy Grail and is basically impossible to find; the people at the window are almost always RUDE!

I mean, I am taking time out of my day to come to your place of business and physically hand you my hard-earned money for doing your job, but I am totally wrong to do so. I should have just stayed at home and made the coffee myself; I would have saved like five bucks in the process and not been forced to deal with your minimum wage attitude. I don’t care how much money you are making, or how much you hate your job, I was always taught that a job is a job! You are being paid, and you should make the customer feel glad that they are spending their money with you and not make them regret coming to your place of business. Plus, have you looked around? At least you have a job in this economy, no matter how small your paycheck may be. 

Once again, I have been there! I did my time in the fast food business, and (even though I started when I was 15) I was grateful to have a job! I would have never treated my customers so poorly.

Ok, done with that little rant. The final thing I hate about the drive-thru is this: they never get my order right!

Here is an actual conversation about my order:

Drive-thru Guy: “Hey, what can I get you?”
Shananigans (ordering my coffee for me, since she was driving): 
“A pumpkin pie latte”
Drive-thru Guy: “Pumpkin chai latte?”
Shananigans: “Pumpkin pie latte.”
Drive-thru Guy: “Pumpkin chai latte?”
Shananigans: “Um, pumpkin pie latte.”
Drive-thru Guy: “Pumpkin chai latte?”
Shananigans: “Is that the same thing as a pumpkin pie latte?”
Drive-thru Guy: “No, they are completely different.”
Shananigans: “Oh, um, ok. Pumpkin pie latte.”
Drive-thru Guy: “Pumpkin chai latte?”

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