Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Drippy, Drippy, Drippy

REMEMBER: the deadline to enter the giveaway is Monday night, and I have VERY few entries so far. You would have a pretty good chance of winning if you were to draw me a picture for entrance into this giveaway. I am not judging these pictures; they are merely your ticket into a randomized drawing. Good luck!

Now, for this week’s post.

I have been ridiculously busy lately and have had minimal time to doodle (sad, I know). However, this onslaught of “To-Do Lists” has somehow turned me into a deranged lunatic, because I spend so much time in my head that all of my thinking-space is being filled with ludicrous and senseless thoughts, leaving no room for the analytical processes I need in order to complete the things on my lists. For example, I have a 6-page paper due tomorrow, but when I opened my laptop this morning to work on it, I began to doodle instead. Foolishness.

Anyway, here is one of the thoughts that popped into my head the other day in the shower as I was singing children’s camp songs.

Children’s songs are pretty effed up. Like, I heard somewhere that “Ring Around the Rosie” was really about the Plague. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it’s still weird to think that children would sing such a dark song so innocently.

The song I was singing in the shower the other day seemed innocent at first, but as I got further and further into the song I realized it was pretty effed up that we would encourage children to sing this song. It goes like this:

Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap (bar of soap).
Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap (bar of soap).
I’d go slippy, slippy, slidey over everybody’s hiney.
Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap (bar of soap). 


Ok, I know that everyone uses soap (or, at least, I hope they do), but isn’t this a little risqué? Slipping and sliding over EVERYONE’s naked hiney?

No?

Well, it gets better. Here’s the next verse:

Oh, I wish I was a little mosquito (mosquito).
Oh, I wish I was a little mosquito (mosquito).
I’d go bitey, bitey, bitey, under everybody’s nighty.
Oh, I wish I was a little mosquito (mosquito).



So, not only is this person wanting to make sure that everyone is clean, now his main wish is to BITE everyone underneath their clothes?! That’s just rude. And slightly molest-y.

Still not with me on this? Here’s the last verse.

Oh, I wish I was a little tea cup (tea cup).
Oh, I wish I was a little tea cup (tea cup).
I’d go drippy, drippy, drippy, over everybody’s lippy.
Oh, I wish I was a little tea cup (tea cup).

This one takes the cake. I don’t even want to know what this person would like to drip all over our lips, but it sounds like “tea” is just a cover-up for his true intentions.


You wouldn’t let little Billy watch the DVD of this song; don’t let him sing it!

*paid for by the Campaign for Non-Molest-y Children’s Songs.





18 comments:

  1. That song is definitely perverted. Why would you want to go "drippy" over anyone's "lippy?" Haha!

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  2. Ha! I don't think I've ever heard that children's song, but, holy crap seeing those lyrics as an adult definitely makes you wonder what kids are learning from this shiz. It's a little effed up.

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  3. Lol I think that is a Michigan specific song Lace haha
    It is definitely molest-y, but good PSA for the kiddies! I should get a bonus entry for being the first one in! :D

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  4. You know, I have never heard that song either, but it is hilarious.

    Also, I have done a research paper on the plague before, and I can tell you that Ring Around the Rosie really IS from the plague times. Interestingly enough, the reason they talk about a "pocket full of posies" is because posies were thought to help protect you from the disease.

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  5. I went to camp for years and years.

    All camp songs are creepy and molestery. If they aren't creepy/molestery they are stonerish.

    Really, what kind of values did they try to enstill in us?!

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  6. wow wierd song...

    check out my blog @ amberlashell.com

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  7. bitey bitey bitey under everyones nighty... brilliant. :)

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  8. It seems as though no one knows this song, but I assure you that I sang it as a camper, and then again as a camp counselor. It must be a Michigan thing, like Brittany has suggested.

    Catherine: thank you for sharing about the Plague! That is pretty weird.

    Ella: right?! but they have catchy tunes, which stick in my head and never ever leave.

    Thanks for all the comments!!! :)

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  9. LOL I had actually never heard the perverted kid jingle.
    My kids never will either.
    Those drawings were hilarious!
    Great post!

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  10. HAHAHA. You made my morning! I love those perverted jingles. I have never heard of them but you made it sound interesting.

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  11. Our brains think alike. I see the perverse in everything and this song is pretty freaking perverted.

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  12. WOW. Wow, wow, wow. I knew the first verse, but... wow.

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  13. I'm from Michigan, and we sang it in Girl Scouts, along with other perverted songs. One called "Hermie the Wormie" comes to mind... I didn't know it was a MI thing, though!

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  14. bwaaaahahahahahha.. i've NEVER heard this song before.

    ps: with each verse' increasing creepiness, i now feel like i need to take an acid bath.

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  15. Another note: for anyone who doesn't know, the song is to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it," and I made the bad decision to Google the song (the soap one). Big mistake. Other, heretofore unknown verses are equally creepy if not creepier. One involves going "squirty, squirty, squirty over everybody's shirty." Not remotely perverted.

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  16. Mike - thank you for deciding to keep this song away from your children!!! It feels good to know that I have helped future generations.

    Gnetch - I'm glad I could introduce you to the perverted jingles of my childhood.

    Sara Louise - I like the way you think!

    Becca - YAY! someone who has heard at least part of this song so that I don't continue thinking I am crazy :)

    Liz - I have come to realize that a lot of things us Michiganders are accustomed to are considered strange in other parts of the world haha. I told someone to try Vernor's and Captain Morgan (what I like to call a Creamy Captain) when they weren't feeling well the other day... I got a strange look. I'm thinking they now think I'm an alcoholic. mmmm Vernor's :)

    TILTE - hahahahaha

    Liz (again) - thank you for commenting about the tune! I couldn't think of what the tune was, but you are totally right! And I'm sorry you had to be subjected to the "squirty" verse... I've never heard that one, but no it doesn't really seem to perverted. lol

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  17. Apparently those not from Michigan don't realize that Vernor's cancels out any alcoholic content of a beverage with which it is mixed. For instance, one can of Vernor's mixed with one keg of beer = non-alcoholic beverage and probable folk remedy for common ailments ranging from flu to arthritis. Of course, the best part of Vernor's is that it already ends in apostrophe-S, saving us the trouble of adding it to everything (e.g., Kroger's, Meijer's, K-Mart's, and Ford's).

    I'm revisiting all my memories of Girl Scout songs now to see how many contain disturbing content.

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  18. hahaha YES! I used to work at Meijer and EVERYONE who came in would call it Meijer's :) Vernor's and Tim Horton's know what's up.

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