Drippy, Drippy, Drippy

REMEMBER: the deadline to enter the giveaway is Monday night, and I have VERY few entries so far. You would have a pretty good chance of winning if you were to draw me a picture for entrance into this giveaway. I am not judging these pictures; they are merely your ticket into a randomized drawing. Good luck!

Now, for this week’s post.

I have been ridiculously busy lately and have had minimal time to doodle (sad, I know). However, this onslaught of “To-Do Lists” has somehow turned me into a deranged lunatic, because I spend so much time in my head that all of my thinking-space is being filled with ludicrous and senseless thoughts, leaving no room for the analytical processes I need in order to complete the things on my lists. For example, I have a 6-page paper due tomorrow, but when I opened my laptop this morning to work on it, I began to doodle instead. Foolishness.

Anyway, here is one of the thoughts that popped into my head the other day in the shower as I was singing children’s camp songs.

Children’s songs are pretty effed up. Like, I heard somewhere that “Ring Around the Rosie” was really about the Plague. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it’s still weird to think that children would sing such a dark song so innocently.

The song I was singing in the shower the other day seemed innocent at first, but as I got further and further into the song I realized it was pretty effed up that we would encourage children to sing this song. It goes like this:

Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap (bar of soap).

Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap (bar of soap).

I’d go slippy, slippy, slidey over everybody’s hiney.

Oh, I wish I was a little bar of soap (bar of soap). 

Ok, I know that everyone uses soap (or, at least, I hope they do), but isn’t this a little risqué? Slipping and sliding over EVERYONE’s naked hiney?

No?

Well, it gets better. Here’s the next verse:

Oh, I wish I was a little mosquito (mosquito).

Oh, I wish I was a little mosquito (mosquito).

I’d go bitey, bitey, bitey, under everybody’s nighty.

Oh, I wish I was a little mosquito (mosquito).

So, not only is this person wanting to make sure that everyone is clean, now his main wish is to BITE everyone underneath their clothes?! That’s just rude. And slightly molest-y.

Still not with me on this? Here’s the last verse.

Oh, I wish I was a little tea cup (tea cup).

Oh, I wish I was a little tea cup (tea cup).

I’d go drippy, drippy, drippy, over everybody’s lippy.

Oh, I wish I was a little tea cup (tea cup).

This one takes the cake. I don’t even want to know what this person would like to drip all over our lips, but it sounds like “tea” is just a cover-up for his true intentions.

You wouldn’t let little Billy watch the DVD of this song; don’t let him sing it!

*paid for by the Campaign for Non-Molest-y Children’s Songs.