I am not sure why it's there, or even how it first originated, but it's been there for as long as I can remember. I can even remember it being at my parent's house when I was young, and somehow it has followed me to my own grown-up home, where it will probably stay for the rest of my life, no matter how many times I move to a new place.
Though it is consistent, it is always changing. It comes in many forms, has differing content, but it haunts me all the same.
In my family, we usually refer to it as “The Shit”. A common form of The Shit is its distant cousin, The Shit Drawer, and then of course there is its embarrassing uncle, The Pile.
I mean, at least The Shit Drawer has enough courtesy to keep The Shit inside, hidden from guests; The Pile has no decency at all as it shows off its existence to anyone within viewing range, no doubt making them think awful things about me and my organizational skills.
The Pile is easy to get rid of at first - hang up clean clothes, wash the dirty ones - but make no mistake! The Pile will return, and it might even bring reinforcements. You may have won the battle, but you have not won the war. You will never win the war.
In fact, here is a chart which I have created to represent your chances of winning the war against The Pile:
A rich person has a slight chance of winning because they can hire maids to fight their battles for them. The rest of us, however, probably have a negative chance of winning; no matter how hard we fight it, we just get deeper and deeper into a war which cannot be won.
In my opinion, The Shit Drawer holds the most random contents of all the forms of The Shit. Piles take on the contents of their surroundings. For example, The Pile on the foot of my bed is full of clothes because it's near the closet, and The Pile on my desk is filled with papers because I suck at organizing bills and such. The Shit Drawer may be in the kitchen, but you wouldn't know it by merely observing the items inside.
Here are some highlights from mine:
Colorful pipe cleaners
Mace (in case I'm being attacked in the kitchen? I think at that point I'd probably just go for the butcher knife or a heavy pan...)
A fortune cookie
A butterfly knife (I’m not sure what this is for either; the only time I have ever seen it used is when Breezy is seemingly attempting to chop off his fingers in a karate-like fashion)
Now, for your homework assignment:
What's in your Shit Drawer?