Saturday, December 4, 2010

Some Boundaries

My posts have been very few and far between these days, but I don’t really like that saying, so I’m going to change that
My posts are as rare as an attractive mullet lately. I bow at your feet and beg for your forgiveness. I have been super-duper busy and stressed out in regards to school and other things lately, but let me tell you something: I have NOT been too busy to notice that I now have over 100 FOLLOWERS!!! This is me:

Do you guys have any idea how many people that actually is? I am not sure if I do. While trying to wrap my mind around this huge number, I got to thinking: if you were all literally following me around all the time, that would get kind of weird. So, I’m thinking that, since our relationship has just risen to a whole new level, we need to set some boundaries and maybe even come up with a safe word for if things get too serious.

First: the boundaries
Now, I don’t mind if you guys are following my blog – in fact, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE that you are following my blog! Follow it some more, if you’d like! And bring your friends! But, when you step out of the blogosphere and into my world and start following me around, here are some places where you probably shouldn’t follow me. Maybe you should bring a book or a magazine or something and just wait for me outside.

The bathroom.

I know that you are all interested in what goes on while I’m in there, so let me just say that I am currently using Aussie’s 3 minute miracle on my hair, and that’s about all you need to know. Besides the fact that you probably shouldn’t be following my naked self around, having 100 people in my tiny bathroom would just be insane. Elbows would be everywhere! Someone would be standing on my toilet, and I’m sure they’ll break the seat off and then I’ll have to buy a new one. It’s best if you just wait outside, and I guess maybe hand me a towel if I need one.

The elevator.

First of all, you have to understand that I loathe elevators on their own, so you should not take this personal. I would much rather take the stairs, as riding in elevators makes me uncomfortable. The only fun part is when the elevator first takes off and starts going down, jump as high as you can! You’ll feel weightless and it is totally awesome.
Next, there is the fact that I am pretty claustrophobic. This probably stems from playing hide and seek at a sleepover when I was a kid and accidentally locking myself in my friends upstairs closet. Nevertheless, stick me in an elevator and add a shit-ton of people, and I’m checking out. Plus, one of you will probably fart and make it all smelly and hard to breathe.

These boundaries should be good for now.


p.s. the safeword is always onomatopoeia... 
and you have to spell it. 


  1. You are such an English teacher with your safe word!!! lol!

    Yay for 100 followers! That is so awesome. just so you know I am 50 of them...muahahahahaha. lol jk. You have legit 100 followers. I think. Unless some of them are doing what I just jokingly said I was doing...creepy!

    Also, I will follow you to the shower if I damn well please Lacey. It's in the pentagon contract. lol! ;)


  2. You're welcome! I promise to bring a newspaper and wait outside the next time!

  3. I'm sorry but I'll have to follow you in the elevator. I would take the stairs but my legs are paralyzed. I'll try to give you your privacy in the bathroom.

  4. Shananigans: you WOULD be 50 of my followers, wouldn't you? hmm... no, probably not. you have also been busy lately. I hope no one else is creating all of these fake accounts to follow me... /nervous.
    AND, I don't remember signing any contract. was this when I was doped up on cold medicine the other day?

    Tsa: I'm so proud of you for keeping up with the news! or will you be reading the funnies? that's what I'd be doing.

    Jay: alright, I guess YOU can be in the elevator. but everyone else must take the stairs or wait for the next lift!

  5. 100 followers? i just shit myself with jealousy. give me all your secrets.

  6. Aaahhhh!! 104 followers? Congrats!

    I'm sorry I followed you to your bathroom and the elevator. I was just going to ask the time. I didn't have a watch.

    I do have one now. :p

  7. i have of which is my mother who has no idea she accidentally created an account she can't get back in to access. LOL. very proud of you face.

  8. Visiting from Mingle Monday and love your sense of humor! Congrats on 100+ followers!!

  9. 100 followers! Woohoo for you! I still have yet to crack 80. Ha. Crack. *ahem* Anyways.

    I can't promise I'll stay away from your bathroom. My stalker senses tingle every time bloggers I follow decide they are dirty and need to bathe. *wink*

    But I will avoid forming an entourage in the elevator. I'm terrified of them mostly...


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